Ever hear of this? – “We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.”
When you think about it, this makes complete sense. These are the individuals that we choose to engage in on the most routine basis, and as such, they are the means by which our behaviors are validated. It’s our social mirror to determine whether or not our actions are accepted or we are challenge to improve.
From this understanding, it would also beg the notion that in order to improve our lot in life, we must pursue and inner circle that promotes the ever-growing and prosperous version of ourselves. Gary Vaynerchuck (entrepreneur extraordinaire) often alludes to this notion of “auditing your inner circle” as a means to find the people who are willing to support you in pursuit of your true ideal self. More often than not, allowing distractions and bad influences within your immediate social network will weigh you down.
As I’ve gone through my career, it’s always been amazing to watch this phenomenon unfold with clientele. By no small accident, joining a new, health-focused group of individuals, forges new friendships and relationships (well beyond the coaches, mind you), that in large part are the reason why people find sustained success.
Think of it this way… if you’re around a bunch of friends that the main destination for congregation is at the bar, and the whole measure of continuing that relationship hinges on that space being in an environment where it is much easier to make less-favorable health choices, then your routine of habits will display that result. If on the other hand, you now shift the foundation of the relationship, to a space now sharing a common goal and value structure of promoting a healthy lifestyle, then you’ll feel validated by those behaviors instead and repeat those patterns more frequently.
The way I try to frame it for new clients looks like this:
- You’re coming here to hang out with your friends who support your health goals
- When you get here, you might as well workout
- When you go home, you’re more likely to be motivated to choose better nutritional choices since you already hit a training session
- Tomorrow you’ll come back to the same space because you feel valued by the people there for the patterns you’re displaying
The point of this is to encourage anyone reading this to reflect on the environment and the social circles that you currently engage in. If you notice that the people you are associating with in these environments are not a reflection of the desired values you wish to promote, then it is probably a fair suggestion that you need to either push to change the culture or find a new space to engage in, lest you prefer stagnation.
It is my sincerest hope that you find a group that will push you to live your life to its fullest.